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Compare & Despair

You are not defined by anyone else’s journey or success. You are not defined by your trips and falls. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s journeys or lives. Everyone is unique and different. We all have different situation, circumstances and opinions and ways of doing things. It doesn’t make us any less important or capable that anyone else. It doesn’t mean we have failed. The problem with social media these days is, it’s become people’s best friend but worst enemy. We follow people on instagram because we are inspired and admired by them and are attracted to the pictures we see, hence why we follow, but then it can start to get obsessive and a lot of us get really down about ourselves and let it get to us. Some people are deflated and frustrated because they wish they looked like these people they follow or had their house or their lifestyle or that particular car or wished they were fitter/thinner or whatever it may be. It’s like a weird envy of what we see or perceive on social media. It doesn’t do us any good emotionally or mentally sometimes. It’s all about perspective. Social media only shows you some of the story. For the most part, only the good stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging, it’s lovely to see how positive and happy people are and what ever people post or make their profiles look like, is up to them but just remember it may not be 100% accurate 100% of the time. It may not show you that persons struggle, the pain, tears, inner demons these people may face. A study has come out recently questioning whether the rise in mental health over the past decade is because of the increase in social media use and how long we spend following others. How much time do we spend on social media being envious of other people’s lives? Like everything, it has it’s good and bad, as I said, for some, it’s motivating, inspiring and enlightening and is an amazing way of connecting to people all over the world with like minded interests and things in common. But for others it can be a daily reminder that they aren’t where they’d like to be or that they aren’t good enough or won’t achieve the same goals or that their lives aren’t as fruitful or exciting as others. But again I stress that nobody’s life is 100% perfect, it’s not sunshine and rainbows all the time. So please don’t compare your life and circumstances with others. Look into your heart, your life and what you are blessed with, start each day being thankful and grateful for what you do have. Even if it’s small baby steps what good things have you achieved today? What have you done to make you feel proud? You probably don’t give yourself enough credit for half of what you achieve. However big or small. Believe in yourself. Know your worth. Learn to love who you are. Accept you for you. You are enough.

Spotlight

Sometimes it’s ok to put yourself in the spotlight and put yourself first. Life gets so busy and we rush around so much, often feeling like there isn’t enough hours in the day. Don’t over commit, if you need to say no for you then that’s your decision, you don’t need to justify yourself. It’s ok to want time to yourself, to relax, to recharge. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Take time whenever you can to look after yourself and rest. I know it’s far easier said than done, especially being a parent. It’s also ok to have bad days, days where you’re fed up, exhausted, frustrated. But just know that it’s just 1 bad day and write it off, draw a line in the sand and start again the next day. I spend a lot of time working on my mindset and being grateful for all that I have and keeping positive however it doesn’t mean I don’t get bad days. But It’s how I refocus and rewire my mind to start again, to know that my bad days are just rare moments in amongst a million good ones. Even if my depression and anxiety does creep in and take hold, I know it won’t last forever, it’s not completely hopeless and eventually it will pass. Sometimes it’s easy to get dragged down thinking the bad times will last forever but they don’t. Just remember challenges only make us stronger and we can learn from them. Be proud of who you are and where you’ve come. It’s ok to need a little help, it’s ok to feel like you can’t do everything on your own. You’re not superhuman. A wonderful quote- “You can do anything my dear, but not everything” But only you have the power, only you are the only one who can get you to where you want to be. Don’t compare yourself to others. Believe in yourself, look after yourself, love yourself.

A New Dawn, A New Day

Begin each new day as a fresh start, a chance to start again and draw a line in the sand. Look in the mirror, take a deep breath and say “today is going to be a good day, today is going to be better, today something good will happen.” I totally believe in the power of positivity. Don’t get me wrong, some days are hard and it’s difficult to think positively all the time but it helps to start the day in this positive way. Or at least not start negatively. My routine is important to me as it helps me focus and feel better. I exercise in the morning and have good breakfast to fuel my body and mind. But of course I’ve had days where I want to shut myself away. The last couple of days have been like this, where I can’t focus and feel out of control. I feel tense and totally unable to feel relaxed or calm. The sheer sense of panic, dread, fear. I have to do my mindset activities and get myself up and out. Lately I have struggled and found things hard. But it does help me to get outside and breath in my surroundings. This beautiful weather we’ve recently had certainly helped. Think of 5 things everyday that you’re grateful for, that your blessed with. 5 things that make you happy. Do this every day. You have the power to achieve anything. You are unique and stronger than you know. It’s ok to ask for help or to need support. You are not alone.

Moving Mountains

Just take 5 minutes to stop take a moment to appreciate yourself and what you’ve done today to be proud of. It can be anything, anything that you’ve battled with, something small but that seems such a mountain. Something you’ve overcome? Something you’ve accomplished that you didn’t think you could? Maybe you’ve juggled everything from kids, shopping, cleaning etc and done loads of things on a to do list? Maybe you’ve had a really challenging day at work, thinking you’ll never get through everything you needed to? Maybe you’ve just made a start on putting a goal or plan in place? Whatever it is, just appreciate you as a person. We get so bogged down with whatever is going on in our lives and sometimes we may have that feeling of not achieving anything or feeling bad because of things we HAVEN’T done, when really we should be super proud of what we HAVE done. Don’t deny yourself of that value or self worth or accomplishment. We all have struggles, we all have bad days, we all have things we put ourselves down about, we all have days where we’ve not done all that we set out to do and it gets overwhelming when we think of all the negative stuff, but just stop 🛑 and give yourself a proud pat on the back for things you actually have achieved. For some, it could just be getting up to face the day, it could be getting out the house to go for a walk, for others it could be just doing your everyday to day parenting duties, you’re all superheroes, you’re doing the best job in the world feeding, providing for and nurturing your children, sacrificing everything yourself for to ensure they have the best. This is our natural instinct as parents of course but nevertheless we as parents still suffer sometimes and don’t get enough sleep, enough time, probably don’t eat properly when we should. But don’t beat yourself up about things. If you get to the end of the day and feel bad as the day hasn’t gone to plan, just remember you are amazing and are doing great even if you doubt yourself sometimes. Be proud of yourself. Love who you are, appreciate yourself for what you do and every mountain you’ve climbed, no matter how big or small.

Midweek Motivation

Do you ever feel stuck in a rut? Ever feel like sometimes all of your motivation goes? Do you wake up thinking you just can’t deal with the day and you’d rather shut yourself away? Do you have trouble sleeping or find that you wake up a lot and your mind is sooooo active at 3am?!  Over thinking over analysing or thinking about really weird and stupid things that have no relevance at that moment when all you want is to sleep?! Why does your brain do that?! So annoying isn’t it!  We all probably get times where this happens or you’re stuck in a rut and you lose your ‘get up & go’ but It’s normal. It’s ok to lose direction or go off the path sometimes. But it’s how you refocus and get back to moving forwards. We all need a little motivational boost sometimes. What ever is holding you back or making you lose focus or motivation just know these simple things:
*Everybody cries, everybody hurts (wise words REM 😜)
*Don’t compare yourself to others.
*Everyone moves at different speeds and does things in different ways and stages. We are all unique.
*Everyone has bad days.
*Everyone feels crap or feels they’ve made a wrong decision at some point.
*No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.
*Don’t dwell on the past or the negative. Learn from it.
*The people who really love and care about you will be there no matter what, even on your bad days & when you’re feeling down.
*You can’t please everyone, just be yourself.
*The ones who matter will be there.
*Never chase someone for love, attention or affection, if it’s not given freely it’s not worth having.
*Be grateful and thankful for what you have.
*You can’t control everything.
*Have faith and trust that everything will work out.
*Hope is a liar that walks blindly through the fire, Faith jumps eyes wide open over the flames
*Believe in yourself.
You have more power and strength in you than you know.
Learn to love who you are, there is only 1 you.

One life, live it well

I thought it would be appropriate to write about love. Not mushy stuff I promise. Just a few things I’d like to share. Valentine’s Day is about celebrating love, showing loved ones how much you love them and appreciate them. or for some it’s an opportunity to show secret crushes how we feel. But it’s not for everyone. We should spend more time showing the people we love how we feel everyday not just today. It can also be very difficult day for some people. The ones who haven’t found that special someone, or who can’t be with their loved ones for what ever reason. Let’s spread the love and best wishes to everyone today, whether you’re in love or not. Another thing to remember is, do not be careless or reckless with people’s hearts and minds. Do not allow people to be careless or reckless with yours. Life is too short and too precious to spend it worrying or wasting time on people who don’t give you the same consideration in return. No matter how near or far, how often you see each other is irrelevant, if you want to make the effort to stay in touch then you will. It takes seconds to send a message/email. Life moves on and goes past so quickly, choose who you share it with carefully. Don’t have regrets, you can only learn from your mistakes and they’ve made you who you are. Mistakes can make your stronger, wiser.  Don’t look back, only look forward. Live for the now, make the most of every day, every moment. You can’t fail if you don’t give up. If something hasn’t worked or not turned out right it doesn’t mean you’ve failed at it, you’ve just learned how to do something different or a better way next time. Take a different path and go round obstacles, keep pushing forward, dreams,hopes, ambitions, goals, aspirations, only stop if you stop. You can’t control everything. You can only take responsibility for your actions. If people don’t want to be with you, then you have to ask yourself, are they really worthy of you in the first place? Don’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Don’t give your heart if it won’t be returned. It’s hard at the beginning, if someone gives up on you, or if things don’t work out and you just drift apart. Whatever the reason breaking up is really tough. The emptiness, the heartache, the loneliness, it feels like it’ll never end. You can feel like you’ve failed. You wonder how you’ll be with anyone else. But it gets easier, learn to love yourself first, be with someone who loves you unconditionally for who you are, no matter what. Time is the most precious thing we have and something you can never get back. Choose how you spend it wisely. A good friend once said to me “It’ll all be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok, then it’s not the end” I totally believe this, even through the darkest times, when things are thrown at you that you didn’t expectand life may feel like it will never be the same again, the light will return, and happiness will be found again, even if it’s slightly different from how it was before, everything in time will be ok somehow. You are stronger than you know. Only you can decide how your story goes. Make the rest of your life the best of your life. It’s never too late to reach your dreams. You’re never too old to make a new goal. If you have a hunger and a passion for something you want to do, don’t let someone else stand in your way. You only get 1 life, don’t live it in a lie, follow your heart, live your truth. Don’t look back with regrets. Take a chance, choose to have faith, not hope. Trust your inner strength. Only you can get yourself where you want to be. Start your day with positivity and gratitude. Make it count. You came into this world with nothing and will leave with nothing, make everything else in between as valuable, worthwhile, meaningful and memorable as you can.
Be kind, Be bold, shine bright, believe in yourself.

 

“I’m ok I’m just tired”

When someone asks if you’re ok or how you are, or ‘you don’t seem yourself?’ All you can say is ‘I’m tired’ because it’s the easiest and safest thing to say. Like it’s just that you didn’t sleep well last night and just need a couple of hours sleep or just a little rest over the weekend and you’ll be fine by Monday. How it would all be so easy to fix. But sadly in most cases that’s just not it. For anxiety and depression sufferers, ‘tiredness’ isn’t just needing a couple of hours sleep. You can’t just snap out of it. It is not a choice. It’s a mental and emotional torment that is draining every piece of you constantly. Behind the fake smile and nervous jokes, behind the pretence and facade, it’s a deep dark place that you’re trapped in. Where you are tired, so desperately tired, but it’s being tired of the pain, the noises in your head, the restlessness, the worrying, the torment, the self doubt, no self esteem, no self worth. Tired of irrational thoughts, feeling like you don’t matter, feeling like a failure, that your worthless, unimportant, useless. In so many cases, tired of life, tired of the world. Feeling worse because you’re frustrated with yourself, feeling like you are a burden to everyone. Wanting to just stop and get off the ever spinning rollercoaster. I know all too well how it feels to be ‘tired’ and alone. But there are so many people to help and support you. You are not alone. It can feel like the loneliest place in the world, even if you’re surrounded by loving people but please know you don’t need to suffer in silence. You don’t need to go through this on your own. Together we are stronger.